Playing Jedi
by Gillian Taylor
Summary: Add Mulder, Scully, a fake braid, lightsabres and the Force and you get a volitile combination


Title: "Playing Jedi"

Author: Gillian Taylor

E-Mail Address: USSTrustNo1@hotmail.com 

Rating: R (for some rather suggestive language)

Category: S/H 

Spoilers: Up to and including Season 6

Keywords: Mulder/Scully UST

Summary: Add Mulder, Scully, a fake braid, lightsabres and the Force and you come up with a volatile combination. 

Archive: Gossamer, and anywhere else as long as my name's kept on it!

Disclaimer: Ahem. Let's all sing along! Chris Carter, oh can't you see? I know they don't belong to me. They belong to Ten Thirteen. Mulder and Scully and all the rest, they are the best. I'm borrowing them with utmost respect; they'll be home before you guess. And now I will call this lame song to a rest.

Author's notes: Once again, the product of a strange inspiration lies below this note. Only a basic understanding of Star Wars is needed. As long as you know what a lightsabre is and who the Jedi are you'll be fine. Special thanks go to my betas- Crysta, Astoria, and Mrs. H and to my friends and crew on the USS TrustNo1. The Lone Gunpersons rule! 

"Playing Jedi"

by Gillian Taylor

SCULLY: Mulder, what are you doing?

MULDER: Practicing with my lightsabre.

SCULLY: You've watched *way* too much Star Wars.

MULDER: Hey! You're just jealous because I'm a Jedi and you're not.

SCULLY: Mulder, having a fake braid tied around your ear and carrying around a 3 dollar lightsabre toy from Walmart does *not* make you a Jedi.

MULDER: It's not fake!

SCULLY: Mulder, I happen to know for a fact that your hair is *not* that shade of brown.

MULDER: Oooh, for a fact huh? What if I dyed it?

SCULLY: What if I took that braid and pulled it off?

MULDER: I like it when you play rough, Scully.

SCULLY: Who says that I'm playing?

MULDER: No...Don't come any closer Scully, or else!

SCULLY: Or else what?

MULDER: I'm going to use the Force!

SCULLY: Mulder, you don't have the Force.

MULDER: Do too!

SCULLY: Ok, then show me. Lift up that pencil.

MULDER: Which one? 

SCULLY: The one on your desk, doofus.

MULDER: Doofus? Gee, Scully you're getting so creative with names.

SCULLY: Shut up, Mulder, and lift the pencil with the Force. I dare you.

MULDER: ((concentrating)) I can't get it to lift!

SCULLY: Like I said, you don't have the Force.

MULDER: Uh-huh. It's probably because Cancerman was just in here. The Dark Side seriously impedes my powers.

SCULLY: The dark side.

MULDER: Yeah! He's the prime example of a dark lord of the Sith.

SCULLY: And have you seen *his* lightsabre, Mulder? 

MULDER: Now that's rather kinky, Scully.

SCULLY: MULDER!

MULDER: ((soft chuckle)) I don't have to perform 'magic' tricks to prove that I have the Force, Scully. A Jedi does not these things.

SCULLY: I believe that the correct phrase was, 'A Jedi *craves* not these things.'

MULDER: Creative license.

SCULLY: Uh-huh.

MULDER: Really, Scully. I've got the Force. I'm a Jedi.

SCULLY: Then prove it to me.

MULDER: Ok, what do you want me to do?

SCULLY: I want you to...tell Skinner that he needs to give us waivers on the expense report that's due tomorrow.

MULDER: Scully!

SCULLY: Use the Force to make him do it. If you can.

MULDER: Scully, that's straying into the Dark Side.

SCULLY: How?

MULDER: I can't just force someone to do something that he wouldn't normally do.

SCULLY: Well, there goes my next idea for having Frohike confess his undying love to Skinner.

MULDER: ((laughter)) Scully! That's just cruel.

SCULLY: What? He's wanted to do it to me!

MULDER: Yeah, but you're *female.*

SCULLY: And what are you implying?

MULDER: Nothing! Just...

SCULLY: What, Braid-boy?

MULDER: Braid-boy?

SCULLY: Just answer the question.

MULDER: Well I seriously doubt that Frohike leans that way, ok?

SCULLY: Gee, and I could've sworn that I had seen him looking at your rear the other day.

MULDER: SCULLY! That's just...gross!

SCULLY: I know.

MULDER: I know what I could do.

SCULLY: What's that?

MULDER: Use the Force on you.

SCULLY: Right. Well now that you've told me I could fight you off.

MULDER: Really? And how's that?

SCULLY: 'Cause I'm a Jedi too.

MULDER: Uh-huh.

SCULLY: Really. I've got my lightsabre right here.

MULDER: Um...Scully, what are you doing with Qui-Gon's lightsaber?

SCULLY: I'm impressed, Mulder. It's actually Luke's lightsabre. I got it at Target. And unlike yours...it actually makes sounds. ((soft whirring))

MULDER: Impressive.

SCULLY: I thought you'd like it. So go right ahead. Force me into doing something.

MULDER: Ok.

SCULLY: Mulder?

MULDER: ......

SCULLY: C'mon Mulder...

MULDER: You will kiss me.

SCULLY: That's it? ((laughter))

MULDER: You will kiss me.

SCULLY: Are you going to keep saying it?

MULDER: You will kiss me.

SCULLY: Face it, Mulder. You just don't have the Force.

MULDER: You will kiss me.

SCULLY: Mulder...stop saying that right now. Otherwise I'll...

MULDER: You'll what? Kiss me?

SCULLY: Ok. Don't mind if I do. 

MULDER: Mmmm...Hey Scully?

SCULLY: Yeah, Mulder?

MULDER: Let's play Jedi more often.

SCULLY: You've got it, Braid-boy.

THE END

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Feedback is greatly appreciated. As is Mulder showing up at my apartment carrying roses... 

USSTrustNo1@hotmail.com


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